


Another Way

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst With A Happy End, M/M, Spoilers for 3x18, The break up scene... gone different
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 00:05:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18509866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Magnus’ breath was shaking as he leaned closer to kiss Alec, make him realise how much he loved him. How much he meant to him and it broke Alec on the inside as he forced himself not to return that kiss. It took all of the will-power that he had not to kiss him back, wrap his arms around Magnus, who was trembling. He was… Magnus was broken and another piece of him died when Alec wouldn’t kiss him back, going on his tip toes and he kissed Alexander again in his desperation.Why… why was he so hard to love? Why did everyone give up on him eventually? Was he-(The scene from 3x18, with ahappy end!)





	Another Way

Magnus' head was spinning. Honestly, he couldn't even grasp the reality what was going on.

_Alexander wanted a break._

_Alexander wanted a break from... them?_

_Alexander wanted a break from... him..._

Magnus swallowed back his tears as he was looking up at Alec, who wouldn't look at him. Magnus couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was just so... wrong. Alexander was a terrible liar and he knew Alec wasn't telling him the truth. He was... he had to be lying. Magnus couldn't bear the thought that Alexander had really stopped loving him. For the love of God, Magnus couldn't lose him too. He just couldn't. He lost _so_ much that losing the one thing that he loved the most... _no._

Alec then stepped away and he then started shaking his head. No, he couldn't let Alexander walk out of that door. If he let him walk away, then that was going to be it. It was going to be the end for them and Magnus... panicked. He quickly grabbed onto every inch of Alexander he could, grabbing him by his shoulders and he turned him around.

“No, no, no, please, please, please,” was chanting Magnus and Alec felt choked up as he couldn’t bear being there in with him for much longer. He needed to break Magnus’ heart, but… he was breaking inside as well and he just wanted to walk away. To have Magnus leave him be. Just move on, was what he wanted to tell him “I’ve lost everything,” whispered Magnus and a piece of Alec died inside. “I’ve lost my home, my-my job, my-my powers,” was Magnus stammering and shaking. His heart was breaking… if it were to break this time, it would never be able to put itself back together. “I-I can’t lose you too, Alec,” whispered Magnus and held onto Alec’s face, trying anything… everything to make Alec see that he was still worthy of his love. “Okay?” he then asked as he leaned closer to him.

Magnus’ breath was shaking as he leaned closer to kiss Alec, make him realise how much he loved him. How much he meant to him and it broke Alec on the inside as he forced himself not to return that kiss. It took all of the will-power that he had not to kiss him back, wrap his arms around Magnus, who was trembling. He was… Magnus was broken and another piece of him died when Alec wouldn’t kiss him back, going on his tip toes and he kissed Alexander again in his desperation.

_Why… why was he so hard to love? Why did everyone give up on him eventually? Was he-_

Magnus kissed him again and felt a little slither of hope when he felt Alec’s lips moving up against his. To Magnus it was a sign that Alexander was staying, but when in reality it was Alec’s goodbye kiss to him. Alec was convinced that Magnus was going to be able to recover from this. He needed magic… and magic was… magic was his first choice, while he wasn’t. It hurt, but to Alec it made sense. Alec just wasn’t… he needed to go. Alec closed his eyes, Magnus still holding onto him and wouldn’t let him go.

“Stay with me,” whispered Magnus.

_By the Angel._

Alec was… trying his best not to break down in tears, but… it was for the best. He was doing this for Magnus. Magnus’ happiness was more important and he couldn’t suffer with the fact that Magnus lost his magic because of him for the rest of his life. No, back then Magnus didn’t have a choice, but now…

“Okay? Come on, stay with me,” was Magnus’ silent whisper, saying _please don’t give up on me. Not you too._ Alec felt that and firmed fists with his hands, standing there, looking down, trying to breathe, trying to walk away… but he couldn’t… he couldn’t when he had Magnus… his hands shaking, his eyes filled with so many tears, looking so-

Then Alec broke as well.

Alec wrapped his arm around Magnus and kissed him, Magnus taken by a surprise, but he kissed Alec back, feeling wetness on his cheeks. Whose was it? His or Alec’s? Magnus couldn’t tell as they were both sobbing, Alec because he had just failed in getting Magnus’ magic back, while Magnus was just happy that Alec didn’t walk away.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” was chanting Alexander in between his words, guilt tearing him from within as he couldn’t… the things, the awful, terrible things he had just said to Magnus… he would never be able to forgive himself for what he had just… “I didn’t,” he said and Magnus looked at him, still holding onto him as Alec kept sobbing. “I didn’t mean any, any of what I just said,” was saying Alec in between his sobs and Magnus was puzzled.

Then why did he…

“Alexander, I don’t understand,” whispered Magnus, his lower lip shaking.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Magnus, forgive me,” whispered Alec and hugged Magnus again. “I love you, that before was all a lie, I love you so much, Magnus, you’re my world, my happiness, you… I’m so sorry,” was he chanting over and over again as he couldn’t seem to calm down. “I-I-I met up with your father,” he then managed to say and Magnus tensed up.

“Alexander-”

“I wanted to get your magic back, he said he-he’ll agree if I break up with you,” whispered Alec as he just couldn’t… he couldn’t bear to think that he had failed. Magnus’ magic might never come back for real this time and it was again his fault. “I’ve-I’ve failed you… you could get your magic back, but I… I couldn’t. I-I was selfish to-”

“What kind of stupid shit are you talking about, Alexander?” asked Magnus, who was genuinely upset at the moment. “Why… you had no right to decide that without telling me,” he said and pointed at him, hands shaking. “You-you… idiot, you…” said Magnus, tears again rolling down his cheeks. “Don’t you ever… even for a second think I’d ever choose my magic over you, Alexander… because I would _never_ , you-“

“H-huh? But-but you-” asked Alec.

“You’re always my first choice, Alexander, don’t you… how can I get that into that thick skull of yours?!” asked Magnus, who was mad, but also…

“Forgive me,” sobbed Alec and embraced Magnus again, not ready to let go this time, hot tears spilling from Magnus’ eyes as he just nodded. He wasn’t going to forgive right away, this would take time, but… if they stayed together then… “Your magic, I can’t-”

“Forget about that now,” whispered Magnus and kissed Alec, desperately, squeezing him to himself. “We’ll figure it out… somehow, together… just… don’t leave me, stay with me,” whispered Magnus and Alec nodded.

“I love you,” whispered Alec and kissed Magnus’ forehead.

“ _Aku Cinta Kamu,_ Alexander,” whispered Magnus and closed his eyes. “… means I love you too,” he explained and Alec burst in tears again.

This moment… really put things in perspective, for both of them. They realised they needed to stick together if they wanted to over-come this. Lessons had taught them a great lesson, making them both stronger, hope lightning in between them both. Somewhere deep inside, but maybe… maybe they could get Magnus’ magic back in some other way.

There was always _another_ way.

 


End file.
